This Vacuum

I feel free, but then I find,
Some things that I left behind.

Walks of progress and of purpose,
Seething burns beneath my surface,

The freezing in the face of fear,
Where one misstep could be severe,

The jagged edge, the thrilling rush,
The consequential foe to crush,

The fire pumping through my veins,
Pursuits, to some, that seem insane.

The times I felt most alive.
Through pain and struggle, I did thrive.

Those days are passed, they’re long gone.
And emptiness I’ve come upon.

Without aim, without real goals.
A vacancy in my soul.

A victim of my victory.
It seems so contradictory.

What new struggles shall I find,
Before I lose my idling mind?

Something that will be worthwhile.
Something I can reconcile.

To do? To be? To feeling fine.
To wandering as I’m inclined.

This vacuum that nature abhors,
Brings restless spurs I so adore.

Allowing them to take command.
And point the way I can’t remand.

We dance the dance, we sing the song,
I’m feeling that it won’t be long.

The fluttering familiarly.
Another struggle’s calling me.