Crime of Passion

A failure I cannot deny.
It’s looking me in the eye.

It finds me when I am most weak.
When understanding’s all I seek.

But which somehow is remiss.
Gone, tossed in the abyss.

The space between becomes volcanic.
Leaving my emotions panicked.

My moment left, it has been taken,
By a heart that feels forsaken.

One that fights to the death,
Fore I can draw another breath.

Before I know, before I knew,
The ration-al thing to do.

And there I am with fence and fire.
Weapons pointed even higher,

Than my voice that makes the point.
One that will not disappoint.

But it does, and it’s worse.
It’s ‘making better’ in reverse.

A total loss in the moment.
It is of this I seek atonement.

Not right now, but in that time.
That is the reason for this rhyme.

Fore I cannot figure out,
How I could be so without,

At the time I need it most.
Seems I have been diagnosed.

So what now, so what then?
When will this illness strike again?

All too soon, I am afraid.
For matters of the heart invade,

When I am with those I love.
The ones I want much more of.

Therein lies the point of pain.
The one I’m seeking to contain.

And until then I am on hold.
And until then I may grow old.

Pray I find the strength next time.
Maybe to avoid this crime.

Master I, this tendency,
And move beyond this pendency.