The Rememberings

That desire, that obsession,
Passed after it took possession,

Of all my goods, of all my plans.
And how? I do not understand.

It happens or and or again.
It brings about my if and then.

It takes its hold without ado.
It leaves much shame upon me too.

It’s the source of my trouble.
It’s makes my life one of struggle.

I see how it works sometimes.
Yet I still get so misaligned.

I’ll get back to, when I’m ready.
Next time perhaps I’ll be more steady.

I am a war down to the bone.
I wish that war was mine alone.

Without the damage to my kin.
So, I’d care less when I don’t win.

This adversary that’s inside.
In it perhaps I should confide.

Let it serve before it passes.
Before another failure masses.

Let it serve so perfectly,
But never let it taketh me.

These words rarely become deeds.
What mind asserts the heart impedes.

I find the peaceful in a sleep.
A drifting off into the deep.

Where no result, where none’s a nil,
Where movement comes from lying still.

Worlds of motion, worlds of challenge.
Worlds that bring me back in balance.

I wake in peace every day,
Before that peace soon melts away,

By my own, by my within.
Between my aim and my sin.