The Rememberings

And what am I meant to be?
What makes this pain worthwhile to me?

Sometimes I wish, I wish I knew
Where this fits into my blue.

I thought I knew, thought I was good,
I thought that I well understood.

Now I’m here within the shade,
To see how deeply I am made.

The outside world has sunny skies,
While inside I hide my goodbyes.

But in my house, beneath my bed,
Sadness swirls around my head.

I am lost and I know why:
A dream of mine has passed me by.

It passed without my own consent,
A gentle frost I can’t resent.

A winter chill on summer green,
The brightest light I’ve never seen.

Is this the low point of the cost,
Where I am bound to feel most lost?

Is this the start of a curse,
Where it will get far, far worse?

I cannot know, I’m not concerned,
I know I’ll find, I know I’ve learned.

What I am, how I’ll be,
I’ve waited very patiently

For such things to be revealed,
And with those things how I’ll be healed.

If I’m meant to rise above,
Then this moment is the one I’ll love.